Save Us from Sarah!

By now, most of you have probably seen Tina Fey’s portrayal of Vice Presidential nominee, Governor Sarah Palin, on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago. Clips of the sketch, which also features Amy Pohler as Senator Hillary Clinton, have been receiving thousands of hits on YouTube and the NBC website. It’s one of the funniest skits I’ve seen in a long time. Tina Fey played Sarah Palin perfectly with flawless imitations of Palin’s mannerisms and vocal inflections. And, of course, the resemblance is beyond uncanny.

Shows like Saturday Night Live and Mad TV thrive on parody and caricature portrayals of celebrities and political figures. These performances are always built around satire and exaggerations. Before Sarah Palin stepped onto the political stage, I had believed that our current president had most likely been the greatest source of material for comedians and satirists. But after watching last night’s vice presidential debate, I am pretty sure my assessment was completely wrong. What’s more, I realized that Fey’s performance was scarily too close to reality.

Without a doubt, this election is the most crucial one the American people have seen in decades. Consider all that is at stake—an economy that is plummeting so fast that Wall Street brokers are wearing hardhats, countless Americans living without health insurance, an education system that is clearly leaving too many children behind, and wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. It’s beyond mind-boggling.

I have never been interested in politics at all. I always sort of preferred my Ivory Tower. My interest in the news stopped at reading about celebrities and pop culture. It has taken eight years of George W. Bush for me to wake up and take my responsibilities as a US citizen and voter seriously. Living with a partner who loves politics has also been much like emersion education.

I anticipated the Biden/Palin debate with somewhat the same excitement that I typically reserve for the American Idol finale. I planned my evening around the broadcast. I could not wait to see how “Sarah Plain and Tall” would handle herself when she was forced to truly demonstrate her readiness to hold such an important political office. After seeing clips of her interviews with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric, I was baffled at the fact that there are people out there who actually believe Governor Palin is a viable candidate for Vice President of the US. After last night, I’m completely dumbfounded at the fact that there are still Americans who will vote for McCain because Palin is his running mate.

Let me be completely honest here. Sarah Palin scares the HELL out of me. It scares me that she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. I cannot think of a single question from last night’s debate that she answered directly. She’s a master of the political “bait and switch” of twisting a question and giving an answer that sounds reasonable on the surface but really has zero substance. More than once, I scratched my head and wondered, “What is she really saying?” The answer—Nothing! It’s political double-speak and quaint one-liners. “We’re going to put government back on the side of the people.” Sounds good… But something tells me that a McCain/Palin government is on the side of only those people who look and think like they do. Look at Palin’s record in Alaska—allegations of attempts to ban books from the Wasilla library, investigations by an ethics board surrounding an attempt to fire an ex-brother-in-law, her involvement with what has been dubbed the “Bridge to Nowhere.” She claims to be an outsider to Washington politics, but corruption in Alaskan politics bears a striking resemblance to what she promises to clean-up.

The polls this morning show that most Americans saw Joe Biden as the winner of last night’s debate. However, Sarah Palin was viewed as the most “likable” candidate. I’m not sure when congeniality became a criterion for measuring potential world leaders, but it scares me to realize that many Americans will vote for McCain because they ¬like Sarah Palin. Sure she’s cute, and she knows it. But, I for one don’t really want this self-proclaimed lipstick wearing pit bull (aka Hockey Mom) to be one heartbeat away from being the leader of the free world. Yes…she claims to be from “Middle America,” and “doggone it” she understands the struggles and desires of the average family in the US. But, I’m not sure that a Vice President who winks at the camera like she’s a waitress at the local truck stop is who I want representing America to the rest of the world.

Now before I’m accused of being a misogynist let me go on record and say that I believe America is ready for a woman in the White House. In fact, I supported the best woman for that job wholeheartedly. And, I cannot really say that Sarah Palin isn’t smart. That isn’t the issue. I know a lot of really smart people. But, I wouldn’t want ¬ANY of those people to be Vice President. It isn’t enough to be smart. It isn’t enough to be likable. Understanding “Middle America” will not cut it. Thinking Americans need to take the lead on this one because many voters will be swayed by “warm and fuzzy.” And that’s just a bit too scary for me to stomach. On November 4 we need to walk away from the polls with a new Vice President, not the Easter Bunny!